When there's no right answer...

I'm not a decisive person.  I don't make decisions quickly, and once I make a choice, I question it over and over.  Was it the right choice?  Could I have made a better one?  Should I have chosen something else?

So many times, there is no right answer, no one good thing.  This isn't a video game where one answer can mean the difference between the 'Good End' and the 'Bad End'.  At the end of the day, at the end of your life, a lot of decisions don't mean anything.

I know that sounds nihilistic.  Nothing matters, so why bother?  But, it's not.  If the decision you make has no lasting consequence, then why stress over it?  The little things don't matter, so do what works in the moment.

There are, of course, choices that mean something, the ones that accumulate into the kind of life you live.  Starting a blog is a choice that matters.  What I write about, not so much.  Not right now, anyway.  Maybe one day it will, when I'm in the habit of writing and when I have anyone reading, then I'll be thinking about what those people would want to read.  But right now?  This is just for me, so, why worry?

Show up and do the work.  Perfection is the enemy of done.   I've heard these phrases, I've parroted them to myself time and time again, but at the end of the day, I still let my fear guide me.  It has a strong voice and I have spent so much of my life listening to it that it's hard to imagine a life where I don't.

There are things that help.  A choice made today is one you don't have to make tomorrow.  Take something off your plate today so you aren't staring at a blank page tomorrow with endless possibilities.  And, when there's no right choice, there isn't any wrong one either.

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